Imagine you are out having dinner with friends, eager to get caught up on each other’s lives, but once you are there you find yourself trying to decipher what they are saying because you are only able to understand every couple of words. No one else seems to be having this problem. A friend asks you a question and you respond with “what?” They repeat themselves, but you are still unable to understand so you just nod and smile politely.
Now imagine you are a child, at school where a teacher gives you instructions for an assignment. You think you understand and do as you are told. When you pass in the assignment, your teacher makes a face and asks you, “were you listening?” You thought you were and left the interaction confused.
You are now a grandparent. You are happy that your grandchildren are calling you to tell you about their school day. You get on the phone with them to hear their high pitch voices and have no idea what they are telling you. You ask them to repeat what they are saying. You still can’t quite make it out. And after a few attempts, you ask your son or daughter to decipher what is being said and the moment of connection is lost.
These are just some of the experiences hearing impaired people have daily. Maybe this is familiar to you because you have some hearing loss yourself or you have loved ones with hearing loss. Hearing loss is more than a physical impairment. Those with hearing impairments are more likely to feel depressed, feel anxious, experience cognitive fatigue, and feel socially isolated.
Anxiety is common due to the constant need to ask people to repeat themselves or face you while talking to you. It can feel like you are interrupting the flow of a conversation multiple times. In addition, people may misinterpret your impaired hearing, thinking you are just not interested in what they are saying or not paying attention in school because you are not a good listener.
Depression can happen as a byproduct of living in a world that does not always show understanding for being hearing impaired. People may lose their patience in conversations where they have to repeat themselves. Or you may decide that it’s just not worth the struggle to engage in conversation where you can’t hear half of what is being said.
Being hearing impaired can lead to social isolation. Because you can’t hear, you may be less likely to take the invitation to a noisy restaurant. Or you may be less likely to take the phone call with your grandchildren. Or maybe you’re a child and you can’t engage with friends at recess or at the lunch table because you cannot hear them.
And being hearing impaired can also create what is called auditory fatigue. Because you have to put extra effort into hearing the world around you, you may find yourself feeling more tired. This can lead you to experience brain fog or limited ability to concentrate and complete tasks.
So what can you do if you are hearing impaired to make your life easier and to limit the emotional impacts of your hearing loss. Understand that you are not the cause of other people’s impatience. You have a real disability and cannot control what you hear. Loving people will understand and make the accommodations you need when you advocate for yourself.
Give yourself rest. Your brain is working harder than other people’s so that means you may need more time to recharge after a busy day at school or work. You also may need to take listening breaks during the day to give your brain a break.
Go anyway. Maybe you will not hear a lot of conversation at a party or a restaurant, but it’s still beneficial to your mental health to go. And don’t be afraid to ask for accommodations. You can go to a restaurant early in the evening to beat the crowd or you can ask to sit in the back where the competing sound may be less.
And do not hesitate to let your PCP that you are struggling. Your PCP can refer you to an audiologist and/or ENT who can help you determine how significant your hearing loss is, what type of hearing loss you have, and if you can get hearing aids through your insurance. Hearing aids can help by amplifying the sound you hear, making it a little bit easier to hear.
And if you are struggling with the emotional effects of being hearing impaired, reach out to a mental health provider to help you cope. There are a lot of ways to support your mental health while living with being hearing impaired and a therapist can help you navigate what strategies could work best for you.
