Mental health can be a difficult topic for many people. Of course, there are many reasons for this. Society and societal expectations can be a big reason, especially. Many societies, especially in the West, have an expectation that those assigned male at birth are stoic, “strong”, and that they should be bottling their emotions. This can contribute to not only poor mental health in men, but also contributes to high suicide rates among men who have mental health disorders.
But don’t women have higher rates of depression diagnosis?
This is true! Those assigned female at birth do have higher rates of diagnosis for many disorders, especially depression. There are a few reasons that we think this may be the case, but one reason could be because of those societal expectations we mentioned. It may just be that men are underreporting their symptoms and not getting diagnosed as often. We also know that men tend to not seek medical help as often as women, even when they are experiencing medical concerns. This is thought to also apply to mental health problems.
It’s also important to note that despite having lower rates of diagnoses, men do have higher rates of completed suicides.
Why do men die by suicide more?
This is another complex issue that doesn’t have just one answer. One reason could be that they attempt more, though we find that from reports that seems to not be the case. However, if they’re not reporting their problems or underreporting the severity of their symptoms, then it could be that their rates of attempt are closer to women’s or higher.
Another reason that has been suggested is that those assigned male at birth are more likely to choose very lethal forms of suicide. For example, firearms are often used by men. Other examples include jumping from heights or driving their vehicles into bodies of water. Those assigned female at birth, on the other hand, tend to choose less lethal forms of suicide and intervention is also more possible because of this. For example, overdosing on medication or engaging in cutting.
It’s not that these attempts are less serious than the ones men tend to use. It’s just that they are less immediately deadly. There is time for clarity, for someone to interrupt, or for something to fail. While the methods that men tend to use can also fail, it’s less likely.
Why didn’t I see it coming?
Often, the signs that someone is contemplating suicide can be very subtle. Mental health professionals are trained to look out for these signs, but the average person is not. Some things are more obvious, such as increased symptoms of depression or severe isolation. Other things are less obvious, like gifting items or making more of an effort to speak to others.
It can seem counterintuitive that someone reaching out to many people can be a potential warning sign. However, what we’ve noticed is that many people who are contemplating suicide will try to say their goodbyes in a more subtle way by doing this. It’s often a way of making amends, of ensuring that those they are leaving behind are going to be okay.
It can be easy to blame yourself for not seeing suicide coming. But it’s important to remember that the majority of individuals who are suicidal keep these feelings to themselves and go to great pains not to let those around them know how they’re feeling.
If you or someone you love is struggling with suicide and live in the US, reach out to 988, the national lifeline. Considering therapy can also be an important aspect of feeling better and feeling more hope.
