Suicide is a difficult topic for many people. This has many reasons ranging from shame to misunderstanding to even anger. This can make it even harder for those affected by suicide to get support. This doesn’t just apply to those who are suicidal but also those who are left behind after someone they love dies by suicide, often not being given the chance to say goodbye to their loved one..
Why do people die by suicide?
The reasons behind why people die by suicide are too varied to discuss in a blog post not dedicated to that topic. The reality is that most people experience suicidal ideation at least once in their lives. Many people attempt suicide or seriously consider attempting it at least once. Suicide is a fatal symptom of many mental health disorders. This can be complicated even further by life circumstances, such as chronic illness, financial stressors, and/or relational problems.
Those who complete suicide usually have attempted or seriously considered it at least once in the past. This goes to show how difficult it can be not just for the person directly suffering but also for those around them.
Someone I love died by suicide
Whenever someone dies suddenly, regardless of the reasons, it always leaves a wake of multiple feelings, logistical problems, and conversations we don’t really want to have with people. Those people can be other loved ones, acquaintances, the individuals behind the logistics of after death affairs, and sometimes even ourselves. Dealing with the estate of a loved one forces us to constantly have to relive the reality of that person’s death. This can even be traumatizing for the individual needing to do all of these things. This can hit someone even harder if the individual died by suicide.
Because of the social stigma around severe mental illness, and even more with suicide, it becomes an emotional mindefield whenever we come across someone in our lives who knew the person but didn’t know they had died. Do you tell them what happened? Do you keep it vague? The truth is that it’s up to you. But it doesn’t make it any less difficult each time it comes up.
Dealing with grief is not linear
Many people are familiar with the 5 stages of grief. The reality is that grief is not as simple as many people understand those stages. Some people go through them in different “orders”, some people never hit certain stages, and some people keep coming back to some stages over and over again. Healing from the death of a loved one is never easy and this is even harder to do when our grief is complicated by the death being traumatic, sudden, or the result of difficult circumstances. It’s important to remember that there is no timeline for healing.
If you’re the one trusted with handling the estate of the individual, then you may not even have time to properly grieve. Give yourself not only time but also grace when it comes to healing. You’re coping with a very difficult loss and it shouldn’t be easy to just “move on”.
How can we prevent suicide?
There’s no clear cut answer to this question. Some people show what would be considered “obvious” signs before an attempt. Some ask for help. Some plan their death for weeks before attempting. Others impulsively attempt. The reality is that while mental health professionals are trained to look for the more subtle signs of suicidal ideation, even they can miss things sometimes, too. With that in mind, it’s important to realize that there is likely nothing you could have done to prevent the death of your loved one. Many people suffer in silence. If you didn’t know, then how could you have stepped in?
At the end of the day it’s important to remember that suicidal is a fatal symptom of a disease that can sometimes be incredibly difficult to treat.
If you or someone you love is struggling with suicide and live in the US, reach out to 988, the national lifeline. Considering therapy can also be an important aspect of feeling better and feeling more hope.
